YOU MIGHT BE A BUBBA IF...

We've been gathering these little tidbits from folks all over the world for years. If you know of any more good ones that aren't on this list, please drop a note in the mailbox..


  • You know how may bales of hay your wifes car will hold.


  • Your dog and your wallet are both on a chain.


  • All of your four letter words have two syllables


  • You think that 10-12 lbs on the side of the pampers box means the capacity.


  • You have more than one first name.


  • You've ever flipped your riding lawnmower.


  • Your kids have 3-day-old Kool-Aid stains.


  • You have ever lost a tooth opening a beer bottle.


  • You know all about cow-tipping


  • Your house has wheels and your cars don't.


  • Your front porch collapses and you kill more than six dogs.


  • You have ever used lard in bed.


  • You think potted meat and saltines is an hors-d'oeuvre.


  • You considered a six pack of beer and a bug-zapper quality entertainmet.


  • Less than half of the cars you own run.


  • Your mother doesn't remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the state patrolman to kiss her ass.


  • The primary color of your car is bondo.


  • You honestly think women are turned on by animal noises and seductive tounge gestures.


  • Your family tree doesn't fork.


  • Your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan.


  • You have ever hollered "Rock the house, Bubba" at a piano recital.


  • Your mother has ever been involved in a fist fight at a high school sports event.


  • You've ever barbecued Spam on the grill.


  • The neighbors started a petition over your Christmas tree lights.


  • You regularly answer the question, "What have you been doing lately?" with "Partying"


  • Your brother-in-law is also your uncle.


  • The rear tires of your car are twice as wide as the front ones.


  • You consider "Outdoor Life" deep reading.


  • You prominently display a gift you bought at Graceland.


  • The diploma hanging in you den includes the words, "Trucking Institute".


  • Your mother keeps a spit cup on the ironing board.


  • You've ever worn a tube top to a wedding.


  • You think Dom Perignon is a "Mafia Leader".


  • The most common phrase heard at your family reunion is "What the hell are you looking at shithead?"


  • You think beef jerky and moon pies are two major food groups.


  • You think Campo-Phenique is a miracle drug.


  • You have more than two brothers named Bubba and Junior.


  • Your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the Lube Rack.


  • You think Volvo is part of a woman's anatomy.


  • You think the styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time.


  • You've been too drunk to fish.


  • You have a rag for a gas cap.


  • You had a toothpick in your mouth when your wedding pictures were taken.


  • You've ever used a weed eater indoors.


  • Your life time goal is to own a fireworks stand.


  • Your bicycle has a gun rack.


  • You own more than three shirts with the sleeves cut off.


  • You've ever been blacklisted from a bowling alley.


  • Your Junior-Senior Prom has a day care center.


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(Except some stuff that has been stolen, borrowed, or otherwise inadvertently used.)